In workplaces across industries, the choice between kindness and efficiency is often framed as an either-or. But what happens when kindness leaves the room? Jane’s story offers a cautionary tale—a vivid illustration of the cost of neglecting the human side of work.
I knew Jane when I was a junior employee at a company in the northeast. She had spent seven years as a dedicated, skilled employee—working evenings, weekends, and even holidays. Her expertise was second to none, and she was beloved by her team for her collaborative spirit and thoughtful leadership. Yet, she was laid off without ceremony, while our colleague, favored by leadership for staying silent and avoiding “trouble,” received his second promotion in three years. Jane’s departure signaled more than a personnel change; it reflected the erosion of a culture that had once thrived on trust and collaboration. Kindness was bleeding away from the company, and this was just another of our wounds to tend.
Jane’s story is not unique. Across industries, organizations face the tension between fostering kindness and prioritizing profit. The challenge lies in understanding that these are not mutually exclusive. A culture of kindness can drive performance and innovation—when leaders choose to embrace it.
The Fallout of Losing Kindness
When I joined this company, it was a hub of trust and collaboration. Leaders encouraged open dialogue, welcomed innovative ideas, and celebrated teamwork. Middle managers not only kept their doors open but truly listened. It was an environment where psychological safety—the ability to speak up without fear of negative consequences—was woven into the fabric of daily work.
Employees felt empowered to suggest better ways of working, experiment with new technology, and raise concerns without hesitation. Even I, as a fairly new employee, was taught that innovation comes from inspiration, so I should speak up when I liked a new idea I was playing with. This environment wasn’t just pleasant; it was productive. High-performing teams consistently exceeded expectations because they had the freedom to collaborate without fear.
Then, new leadership arrived. The retirees who had built the company’s culture of collaboration were replaced by executives from competitors, bringing with them a radically different philosophy: command and control. Budgets tightened, travel was halted, and even small perks like individual recycling bins and quality coffee disappeared. Administrative assistants were let go, forcing the remaining ones to take on double or triple workloads.
Kindness and trust began to fade. Leaders, once open and supportive, became guarded and aloof. Emails became curt, filled with hard-edged questions about purpose, timelines, and cost. Celebrations became rare, and even informal gatherings among team members dwindled. High performers started to leave in droves, and those who remained were pressured to “fall in line.” Jane, with her exceptional work ethic and enthusiasm for building camaraderie through book clubs and volunteering, was suddenly viewed as a liability rather than an asset.
Her story ended with a cardboard box of personal items on her lap, waiting for her final handshake. But the real loss was for the company—a workplace that had once thrived was now hemorrhaging its best people.
Command and Control: A Double-Edged Sword
Command and control management emphasizes top-down decision-making and rigid adherence to directives. At its best, this style provides clarity and consistency. Leaders set a vision, middle managers ensure alignment, and employees execute. In highly regulated or crisis environments, this approach can be effective.
But command and control has limitations—especially in organizations that rely on creativity, innovation, or rapid problem-solving. When imposed by new leaders who lack curiosity and feel that lip service to existing culture should suffice, it often backfires. In Jane’s case, the shift from kindness to control stifled creativity, undermined morale, and devalued the very qualities that had made the company successful.
Research supports this. Google’s extensive studies on team dynamics found that psychological safety—fostered through trust and kindness—is the strongest predictor of team success. Teams with psychological safety consistently outperform others, regardless of individual skill levels or qualifications. Psychological safety allows people to take risks, voice ideas, and solve problems collaboratively—all of which are essential for innovation.
In contrast, command and control management often silences dissent, discourages experimentation, and creates a culture of fear. Employees become focused on survival rather than excellence, reducing engagement, lower productivity, and higher turnover.
Diagnosing Your Work Culture
If you suspect your workplace is losing its foundation of kindness, look for these signs:
- Silencing dissent: Are ideas and concerns met with curiosity or dismissed outright? When issues are raised, do leaders respond with interest, or are they quick to shut down the conversation? Dismissive responses signal a lack of psychological safety and discourage team members from contributing their best ideas.
- Changes in leadership behavior: Have previously approachable leaders become secretive or overly critical? Has “We should never…” changed to “We should consider aligning with…” overnight? A shift in tone often reflects deeper cultural issues. Leaders who were once advocates for collaboration may feel pressured to prioritize directives over dialogue, creating distance between themselves and their teams.
- Resistance to cheerfulness or team-building: When celebrations and collaborative activities are viewed as distractions, it’s a red flag. In fact, the flag might be on fire. A culture that dismisses these efforts often undervalues the human side of work, which is critical for long-term success.
Trust your observations. If you notice these patterns, your workplace may be shifting toward command and control—and away from the trust that drives innovation and success.
What You Can Do
While cultural shifts can feel insurmountable, there are steps you can take to navigate them:
- Advocate for kindness: Highlight the benefits of psychological safety in team discussions. Use data and examples to show how it leads to better outcomes. Share success stories from other organizations where kindness drove innovation and productivity.
- Find allies: Seek out colleagues who share your values and can collaborate with you to foster micro-environments of trust. Even in challenging cultures, small acts of kindness can create pockets of positivity that inspire others.
- Evaluate your fit: If your workplace no longer aligns with your values, it may be time to consider new opportunities. Leaving a toxic environment is not a failure—it’s a step toward finding a culture where you can thrive.
- Lead by example: If you’re in a leadership position, model the behavior you want to see. Create spaces for open dialogue, celebrate team achievements, and show appreciation for contributions. Kindness is contagious, and small actions can have a big impact.
- Have a plan B: Be honest that if the work culture feels dangerously toxic, interview for other positions at other organizations.
Why Kindness Matters
As I’ve told colleagues and friends for decades: when work feels like a celebration, it’s because kindness is easy to find. Leaders who prioritize it will build resilient teams that thrive, innovate, and endure. Kindness is not just a moral choice—it’s a strategic advantage.
And Jane got it. The problem? She didn’t believe the new work culture couldn’t get it any more.
Today, Jane is thriving. She’s spent the last 15 years in her dream job—far from our old company that left kindness behind.
Her story reminds us that there is hope out there. You don’t have to keep swimming in the waters you’ve been in when those waters turn into lava.
Good luck out there, and remember to keep building the future you want to live in, one kind act at a time.
Michael G. Neece, President of Our Future is Kind, is a visionary leader who has impacted five diverse industries. With a track record of success in leadership roles in traditional corporate settings, martial arts studios, and planetariums, he leverages his unique perspectives to benefit others.
His keynote speeches provide executives with kindness-based team-building strategies to increase efficiency, innovation, and productivity. His book “In Kind: Consciously Craft a Meaningful Life and Career” provides a roadmap for career success for those starting out, starting over, or in dire need of a kinder workplace…and life. Neece believes in teaching others to use the power of kindness to build the future we want to live in.
To include Michael as a thought partner for your endeavors, find him at https://www.linkedin.com/in/yournextkeynotespeaker/.
